(Written by a former resident of Shanghai)

Chen and Wang are common last names in China, but in my long life I’d only had two friends named Gao until several months ago.  Now I have two new friends with that name.    

One of them is Lao Gao who lives in the apartment next to mine.  He visited me recently, as he was learning English and hoped to get a tutor.  I took him to The Learning Center at the Presbyterian church, and a tutor was assigned right away, but he found it very difficult to learn the new language.  He’d visit me frequently with questions about things he didn’t understand, and then he’d stay awhile and talk with me about his family.

He told me that in China he had been the principal of a primary school, and when he retired, he came to this country.  He seemed to be in good health, but he said that he’d had diabetes for years and has to have insulin injections twice a day.  His supply of insulin was enough for about three months, but he was worried that when it was about to run out he would have to go back to China to get more.

            I thought he should be getting treatment here and went with him to a diabetes research center in a hospital where he got (at no cost) an instrument he could use to examine his blood sugar level, but what he needed even more was a doctor who would treat him regularly without asking for a fee. 

I accompanied him to several outpatient departments, but none of them accepted him.  Every place I called, I got the same result but I wasn’t discouraged for I remembered the old adage that God never shuts a door without opening another.  And I was lucky; I found a doctor in the Providence Healthcare System who would see him.  He has an appointment in three weeks, so we’re hoping that the problem has been solved. 

I met the other Gao quite by chance.  It happened this past summer during lunch with friends at a place called Loaves and Fishes.  We went there often because it’s near our school and class began at 1 p.m.

Every time I was there, I saw a woman who has to use a walker with wheels if she can manage to stand up.  The first time we met, we only greeted each other so I didn’t learn her name.

A month ago, I went with another neighbor to see her caseworker at the Disability Service for Seniors.  When the worker saw me, she asked me to translate for another woman, and when I followed her into another room, I recognized the woman from Loaves and Fishes right away.  She told me that her last name was Gao and that she was disabled, and I translated from Chinese into English and then back again so that the two of them could understand each other. 

Before I returned to my neighbor, I told my new friend that I would call her Xiao Gao, as “xiao” means little and at 64 she is much younger than I am. 

The next day I saw her again, and she told me about her sad life.  Her husband died of cancer several years ago.  She had taken care of him for four years, and after he died she contracted rheumatoid arthritis and was bedridden for two years.  Her daughter had been of very little help with the arthritis problems, but wanted her to stay in China.  Xiao Gao, however, was an American citizen, and felt she’d be better off here. 

My husband died of the same condition, but her pain is far worse than his.  Her legs, feet, and fingers are all out of shape, and she has difficulty doing anything.  She’s in great pain and uses analgesic drugs that her friends get for her. 

It was obvious that she needed help so I went  to Social Security and got Medicaid and a disability pension for her.  Then I arranged for her to visit a doctor for a check-up.  Her disability worker gave me instruction on how she could be assisted in all the things we do in our daily lives, and I was very fortunate that the In-Home Services of the Oregon Department of Human Services agreed to provide her with an assistant for 29 hours a month.

She lives in an apartment downtown, and receives help from her neighbors – both Chinese and American.  I learned just recently that with her crippled hands she had just made 50 dumplings which she shared with all the people who have given her help. 

That’s her way of saying “Thanks” on Thanksgiving.    

I’m really the one that should be expressing appreciation for my two new friends named Gao have brought new meaning to my life.