(Written by a former resident of Shanghai)

          Chinese students weren’t permitted to use a Chinese dictionary when I was studying English at a university. The instructor undoubtedly had our best interests at heart, but it was a great inconvenience, as I didn’t understand so many of the words. I’d ask the two Chinese students sitting beside me to help, but they knew as little as I did.

          A fourth Chinese student was a businessman, and it was clear to us from the first day that he was very rich. His English didn’t seem to be as good as ours, but every time we came upon a new word, he was always first to understand the meaning. That was really surprising, and I was curious about how he did it.

          One day, he sat beside me, and I got the courage to ask. The answer was quite simple. He had a pen that could scan the word and supply the meaning. It was fatter than a usual pen – perhaps three times its diameter – and I immediately made up my mind that I had to have one when he said that it could also translate English into Chinese.  I learned later that it could also send text to a computer.

          I asked him where he had bought it, and he wasn’t certain; it could have been in Hong Kong, but maybe it was Shanghai. 

          From that day onward, every time I returned to Shanghai I tried to find one, but it was a bit like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. Nobody had heard about that kind of pen when I asked until three years ago when I found a store that had them. They actually had two kinds – one foreign and a slightly cheaper one that had been made in China. Both of them however were so expensive that no one was buying them. The price was so high that I couldn’t afford one either. 

          I visited the store again the next year on a visit to Shanghai and was told that the Chinese product was no longer being made, as no one wanted to spend that much money. The clerk let me use the foreign one, and I liked it very much, but didn’t buy it. It seemed like too much money to spend right then.   

          This year I visited again, and my nephew told me that he’d seen advertisements about a scanning pen that was being made in China again. He was quite sure that it was the kind I wanted, and he said that a lot of stores were carrying it. I found, however, that none of them had them in stock. If you wanted to buy one, there would be a wait until they could locate one. I was busy with relatives and friends, so I didn’t make the necessary arrangements.

          About a week before I returned to America, my daughter arrived from the States for a short visit, and on the day she was to leave, we went shopping. I entered one of the stores that had advertised the pens, and they had a sample. It’s price was 2,400 yuan. That’s approximately $300.

          We stood there looking at it for a while and then left. My daughter didn’t understand why I’d asked to see it, and then not purchased it. I told her that I’d considered buying one three times and had finally decided that it was too expensive. Her response was, “If you like it, you should buy it. Why don’t you use the money your son gave you?”

          I said that I planned to give the money to poor students to help with their education.

          She couldn’t believe it and said, “That the money to you so that I would have a happy, rich life.”

          We didn’t talk about it anymore, but I knew inwardly that I’d lose my self-respect if I used the money for that purpose. I’ve always wanted to be self-sufficient. I have to be dependent on my family for a few basic things, but It just wouldn’t be right to use their money for a pen, no matter how special it might be. 

          Yet, there is a part of me that would like to have a pen like that some day.

          I wonder if I ever will.