(Written by a former teacher in Shanghai)
Since coming to America, I've often heard the adage that "blood is thicker than water", and I'm always reminded that we said the same thing in China. I suppose it's a common truth throughout the world.
A Dictionary of Idioms that I consulted told me that it means that family ties count more than friendship. Apparently that saying originated in Germany in the 12th century. Perhaps it comes from the idea that water evaporates without a trace, but blood leaves a stain and is therefore more permanent. That tells me that relatives (blood) are more important (thicker) than people who are not related (water).
I recently heard two stories on that theme. The first of them was related by a friend, and it goes like this:
"Mr. X moved to Hong Kong thirty years ago. He worked for me at first, but then ran his own business, as he wanted to get rich. He was generous and always gave money to his parents. He also supported his three brothers and a sister while they got an education.
"The Shanghai government planned to rebuild the city and began tearing down one region after another. In one of them, the parents of Mr. X had a three-story house. It was worth a lot of money, and when the government was ready to pay before destroying it, he colluded with his youngest brother so that the brother would get two apartments and he would have the rest of the money for himself. Left out of the arrangement were the other two brothers and a sister.
"We have a saying in China that fire can't be wrapped in paper. That obviously means in this case that the troubles he'd created through that settlement would not remain secret. When the two brothers and the sister learned about it, they were very angry and appealed to the court for a more just settlement. Subsequently, it was ruled that all the money Mr. X had received would go to the three of them. His share was supposed to come from the two apartments the youngest brother had received, but that discussion came to nothing, as the brother pointed out that he had paid Mr. X in order to get the apartments and had already allocated them to his children. There was no reason why the children should share with Mr. X so he finally got nothing.
"It was even worse than that. One day, when he went to visit, his younger brother opened the door, but then quickly shut it without saying a word. Mr. X felt like a stranger standing there in front of his brother's door.
"His other siblings haven't been willing to see him either. He always says glumly that he can't understand why he is being shunned, but it's clear to all of us who have heard his story that he lost his sister and blood brothers because of his cunning."
It's a story that tells us that blood is not always thicker than water.
A former sudent told me the second story:
In my group of Christians, one of the young ladies was diagnosed with leukemia, and every time we visited her we found that Mrs. Y - another member of our group - was already there taking care of her. The two hadn't known each other before the illness occurred, but they'd become fast friends afterwards. Mrs. Y frequently provided ginseng soup, and everyone thought she must be very rich, as soup of that kind is very expensive.
"During one of our visits, it was decided that we should also visit Mrs. Y, and she was happy to give us her address and telephone number.
"The day that we arrived at her home, we saw many wet clothes hanging in her courtyard and thought there must be a large number of people in her family. Someone had the courage to ask, and she said that only she and her daughter lived there. She pointed to the clothes and said that was her job, and we suddenly understood that she washed clothes for a living. That's a very hard life, but yet she found time to give of herself to others. We were deeply touched."
Mrs. Y and the young lady with leukemia had such a strong, loving relationship that one would think they were sisters, but they didn't share the same blood, weren't even relatives.
From these two stories, I get the impression that blood will continue to be thicker than water if we show respect to one another, but it is also clear that equally strong bonds can be formed by individuals from different families in a kind of love that is forever.
